Celebrities are human just like us– and sadly, sometimes it takes watching them go through a traumatic experience for us to see it. I mean, we all go through shit: loss, abusive relationships, addictions, heartbreak, depression, mental illness, eating disorders. We just face it at different intervals in our lives and at different levels.
For Demi Lovato, it hit her all at once and in a greater force than anyone deserves to suffer through. Yet, here is she standing above the rubble, conquering the music industry all while producing a documentary to share her story.
Even if you haven’t had to overcome a drug addiction or face an eating disorder like Demi had, you are not alone in your own struggle. We can all learn from Demi’s story of her triumphs, as well as her falls and use her as a role model and reminder that we can get through anything.
Here are a few things we can all learn from Demi Lovato’s documentary: Simply Complicated.
Secrets Make You Sick
You know the saying: Secrets, secrets are no fun; secrets secrets hurt someone.
Sometimes it seems easier to hold something in then to talk about the hurt you’re going through. Truth is, we don’t want anyone to feel sorry for us. It’s so much easier to keep your emotions inside yourself, rather than feeling like you’re burdening someone else.
Girl, get those feelings out. In the long run, it’s better to talk about those secrets rather than to let them pile up like your Christmas wish-list. Demi Lovato shares this throughout her documentary by recalling her battle against her drug addiction which lead to manipulation, relapsing, sneaking around, and living in a constant black and white cycle.
Listen to Smoke and Mirrors.
Be a Voice Not a Victim
Most likely someone you know, or even you yourself has had to deal with the journey of an eating disorder, the flashbacks of sexual assault, or the mind games of an addiction. What I can tell you, is that those who find the light at the end of tunnel and use their experiences as lifelines for others are true guardian angels. Demi Lovato is one for many because she chooses to speak out.
“Be a Voice not a Victim.” It sounds so easy, yet the reality of it is terrifying. Putting your mistakes and experiences out there for others to learn from is not an easy task. You have to be willing to be vulnerable and open. It is our responsibility to make these voices feel safe, loved, and needed.
Listen to Skyscraper; You Don’t Do it for Me Anymore.
Sex is Natural
Sex. Everyone does it. Humans do it. Animals do it. And we should stop shaming people because they want some pleasure in their life. It’s literally the reason that you’re here on Earth! So stop tearing people down because they engage in it.
Demi owns the sex game. She isn’t afraid to put herself out there, laugh at those awkward first date stories or cringe-worthy one night stands.
Her theory: “You can’t win if you don’t play the game.” I don’t know about you, but I think I need a pep talk from Demi before I go to meet up with a guy. Even the conversation between her and her stylist is brilliantly relatable.
“This dress is going to close the deal. Do you want to close the deal?”
“Hell yeah I want to close the deal.”
“Okay good. ‘Cause you’re in escrow right now.”
I’m just going to leave you here with a quote from the queen D, “When I am comfortable in my own skin, I feel confident. And when I feel confident, I feel sexy. And when I feel sexy….watch out.”
Listen to Sexy Dirty Love; Daddy Issues; Games; Cool for the Summer.
Love is Necessary
Whether it be friends, family, or your S.O., love is necessary in your life. These are the people that will be there for you no matter the ups and the downs. For Demi it was her family, her close friends like Nick Jonas, her manager, Phil McIntyre, her sober coach, Mike Bayer, and her fans.
Don’t think you can handle it all by yourself, because truth is… you can’t. No one can.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help; even though it might be scary. In her documentary, her sober coach shares that the most important thing to Demi is losing the people that she cares the most about: the people that love her.
Demi says, “You really have to lean into the people that are trying to support you. You really have to surrender because that is when the change is going to happen.”
Listen to Yes.
Heartbreak is Unavoidable
Demi Lovato had a very serious and electric relationship with Wilmer Valderrama for almost 6 years before they announced their mutual split on Instagram. Lovato credits Valderrama for helping her through her sobriety and basically being her rock for many years.
At the age of 18, Demi began dating Wilmer. For any teenager, beginning in a serious relationship is difficult. Not to mention this was on top of stardom and battling with sobriety and other related problems.
“I just wasn’t ready and there was so much more left of my life that I hadn’t explored yet,” said Demi. I think a lot of young women have gone through a time where they have been trying to find themselves, but at the same time have to balance the impact it takes on those around them.
What you want in your life should not be dictated by what others around you want.
Listen to Stone Cold.
Loneliness is Brutal
“When I feel lonely, my heart feels hungry. And then I end up binging. And I don’t know how to figure out how to be alone,” said Demi. Society sure knows how to press the “you’re not good enough” button.
There is constant body shaming, feeling like you aren’t beautiful enough, and the internet can make you feel like you’re on an island by yourself. Although it is seemingly inescapable, it’s important to find ways to pull yourself out of that cycle and find what doesn’t make you feel lonely. This could be the gym, a club that interests you on campus, joining a church group; whatever positive community you can absorb into, it’s going to be a hell of a lot better to have people on your team.
Listen to Tell Me You Love Me.
The Key to Being Happy is to Tell Your Truth and to be Okay Without All the Answers
Demi Lovato is living proof that you can get through anything no matter how dark and impossible your situation might seem. It might mean not receiving all of the answers to your problems, but if you can tell your truth and live the life that you want, there is nothing standing in the way of happiness. For her, the escape was music; for you it could be exercising, art, dancing, reading, volunteering, the list goes on.
Letting her fans into her darker past and sharing her secrets and struggles was the most influential thing this vocalist has done yet. Hopefully, there is something that you can take away from her documentary and you can help share you own story.
In the words of the one and only, “What’s wrong in being confident?”
Listen to Confident; Sorry Not Sorry.